Creating a Healthy Lifestyle

Jamie was a well behaved child at thirteen, and her parents had high expectations for her. Her father, Steve, was strict and expected her to make high grades in school. Her mother, Monica, was rather indifferent and didn’t express her feelings, leaving it up to the father.

Jamie was expected to do perfectly in school and her “B” grades were not enough. When she came home with a “B” grade Steve would raise his voice and told her to study more. Jamie was afraid that he would become even more angry or violent.

Jamie could not respond because she feared her father would become even more angry. She couldn’t explain why she got a “B” in her report card. In her mind she thought Steve would be satisfied with her grades.  But in her heart she felt he would only punish her and tell her to study. He was never satisfied with her efforts, she felt.

Steve said, “I’m sick of your attitude, Jamie! How do you expect to get into college with this attitude!” his face turning red.

Jamie’s mother, Monica, didn’t say anything out of fear that it would cause an argument, or end in violence. Positive communication between her parents were non-existent. But Jamie needed a more positive family life that would be more emotionally supportive. And Jamie needed her mother’s love and support more than ever.

Jamie’s parents didn’t say much to each other. When they did talk to each other it ended in a loud argument. Steve had a temper and when he was angry both Jamie and her mother were afraid to say anything. Healthy communication was impossible. The family atmosphere was negative and and in need of loving care.

If Jamie’s mother had feelings or emotions that were repressed or suppressed, and never expressed openly. It would only add to the conflict, and emotions would get out of control. Problems wouldn’t be resolved. The relationship between Monica and Steve was lacking in love and compassion.

Jamie felt she couldn’t talk about how she feels. She wanted to say how she is really trying in school and wants to have good grades. But she couldn’t express her feelings. She never disclosed her feelings and became more frustrated. She even didn’t like herself any more. She was sad afraid and kept all of her feelings inside.

Jamie wanted to talk to her father, but was afraid to express her feelings to him, fearing that he would yell or become violent. She gave up on her mother who was wrapped up in her own feelings of discontent. She had no one to talk to except her brother who was six years older,  but wasn’t interested in getting involved.

A few months went by and the family was stuck with the problem. There wasn’t any change and Steve became more frustrated and angry. Steve concluded that Jamie was not doing well in school and there wasn’t any hope for her. When Jamie’s brother talked to her he would become even more angry. He would continue to lose his temper, and Jamie shed tears that made him even more angry.

Monica became more depressed and emotionally withdrew from the family and Jamie.
This made Steve even more upset with her. But he would only turn his anger on Jamie, who was not doing better in school.

Conclusion and Assessment of the Family

Jamie is in the first year of high school and she was looking forward to making new friends during her first year. She also was beginning to like school more than ever and wanted to make good grades. But she felt alienated and distant from her father. Jamie wanted his his support and confidence. But, instead, she became afraid of him and worried that he would become violent. She wanted support from her mother but her mother was too depressed to be supportive and loving.

This family expressed dismissive behavior in their relationship with their daughter. There was also a lack of love and support. Dismissive behavior was mostly manifested by the father who never acknowledged his daughter’s feelings and her desire to succeed in school. Family therapy would be recommended to change the pathological dynamics of the family.