Creating a Healthy Lifestyle

Depression in the family has a negative effect on family relationships, as well as on each person in the family. It is difficult for family members who are not depressed to cope with the depressed person who is afflicted with feelings of deep sadness. Often the depressed member is unable to function, doesn’t want to relate to anyone, and spends a lot of time away from other family members. The depressed person is also not able to participate in activities outside the home, and often doesn’t want to socialize with anyone outside of the family.

Symptoms of Depression

According to the the DSM-5 (the Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association) depression is a mood disorder with symptoms of a loss of pleasure, appetite and weight, as well as having trouble sleeping. They frequently feel sad, angry or depressed. They are always tired and can’t concentrate. Some may feel worthless, and at worse, may feel guilty. In severe cases the depressed person may have thoughts of suicide, and may even act on these suicidal thoughts.

Medication is often prescribed, but there needs to be other ways to cope with the depressed moods that don’t seem to go away. There needs to be support and love from friends and family. Above all, family members need to be patient and supportive. The patient must feel accepted by friends, family, and health professionals. The depressed mood involves a loss of interest or pleasure that has existed for a period of time.

SOCIAL SUPPORT

In essence, the depressed mood is a chronic feeling of rejection, loss of interest or pleasure that has existed for a period of time. Other symptoms may include: loss of appetite and weight. More than three-fourths of depressed people report a lack of sleep. Or patients may eat and sleep more often. They complain of fatigue or being tired frequently. Many depressed individuals keep to themselves and only want to be alone.

Therefore, family support is crucial at this time, and if there is a partner, spouse or other family member, it is vital that this person be supportive of the depressed person.  I can’t overstate the importance of support from family members that is often lacking. It is the closest people in the life of the depressed member who are vitally important at this time. Love, support and kindness is the best treatment for a family member who is not motivated or is in a depressed mood. Loving-Kindness is the quintessential prescription for depression.

SECURE ATTACHMENT

It is likely that a very sad or depressed person had an insecure childhood. This individual never received the love and support from her parents or other significant others.  Once the insecure person reaches adulthood he or she lacks the resilience to cope well with stressful situations.

Parents are crucial in providing secure attachment for the child from birth to adolescence. Parents need to be responsive to the needs of the child. They need to give unconditional love and acceptance. They need to be attuned to the needs and feelings of their child. Over the course of infancy, childhood and the teenage years the child will feel good about self, and be become an emotionally secure adult.

Case Example–Marie

In one case example, Marie was abused as a child by an uncle when she was in grade school. She wasn’t able to express her feelings or talk about the abuse to her parents. So she kept it inside even though it was bothering her. Her grades in elementary school were lower than usual, causing the teachers to complain to her parents. They yelled at Marie and blamed her for her poor grades. Marie was afraid and didn’t express her feelings to them. Her father became angry, and threatened to punish her if she continued to get poor grades. She didn’t get the support from her parents, which she really needed at that time. It affected her schoolwork and her grades continued to go down. But she continued to go to school, even though she was quiet and kept her feelings inside.

Marie’s Later Years

After Marie barely made it and graduated from high school, she began to know some of her peers who had access to drugs. She became influenced by the new peer and drug culture where many of her friends were on drugs. She first tried marijuana and then began to take more addicting and dangerous drugs. She began to have relationships with young men who were not considerate of women and only wanted casual sexual relations. Her relationships ended quickly only to go into another unstable relationship.

During Marie’s young adulthood when she was in her middle twenties and thirties she began to drink alcohol and even began to try heroin. This gave her temporary pleasure, which only ended in sad or depressed thoughts. Her depression worsened and her doctor prescribed antidepressants. Along with her depression she was addicted to alcohol. Her depression worsened and it was difficult for her to get a job or engage in a healthy social life. She lived alone but had intimate relations with a man who left her as soon as he got what they wanted.

A year later she became close to her daughter, but she wasn’t able to care for her. She placed her in the care of relatives. She went to another town and lived alone and depressed.

Depression and Life Satisfaction

Undoubtedly deep, chronic sadness or depression has serious consequences for the depressed person and the family. In Marie’s case she felt no meaning in her life and she didn’t see herself as worthwhile. Her self-esteem was chronically low and her depression worsened. She isolated herself from friends and family. She wasn’t happy with her life or herself.

Others need to be understanding and show empathy (not pity) for the depressed person. She or he needs to feel accepted by family, friends and others. Social support is important at this time in the depressed person’s life.

We can’t deny the imbalance in the brain that can affect the degree of depression. For instance, the neurotransmitter, serotonin, is in short supply–and the balance of neurons and neurotransmitters can have a devastating effect, which only increases the depressive symptoms. Some medication may be needed to make it more bearable for the patient.

However, the social and family conditions that I have mentioned play a major role in the causes, prevention, and outlook for depression.

In conclusion, parents need to be attuned to the needs of the child. They need to give love and support to the child from early childhood to the end of adolescence. This will have a positive effect on the young child’s development and prepare her for healthy development in adulthood.