Creating a Healthy Lifestyle

Jane and her husband Tim decided to work on their marital problems. They were married four years ago in a wedding where they felt they found their soulmate.  Tim began to talk first, but he really was reluctant to come in and was anxious to leave. “She doesn’t care about what I think and does whatever she wants. I try to talk to her but she’s not interested in anything I have to say. I tell her about my work and all of my frustrations on my job in sales, but she’s not interested in anything I have to say.” At this point, Tim lowered his head towards the floor and seemed ready to walk out of the room.

Jane didn’t want to look at Tim, and seemed not interested in anything that he said.  But then sne blurted out: “I don’t know what you’re talking about Tim, but you don’t care what I think.  You never show any interest in me and you don’t pay attention to anything I say!” Jane was furious, and she wanted to continue the ‘attack.” She was waiting for him to say something. But now there was an eerie silence in the room.

The couple is drifting apart, and there is a greater emotional distance between them.  It seems that they no longer have anything in common.  And they didn’t want to be here.  They would rather be miles apart at this moment.

After four years of marriage Jane and Tim have stopped being supportive of each other.  They didn’t talk with each other in a loving and supportive way since the first year together.  Jane  and Tim have been going their separate ways for at least two years.  They were both angry and unhappy in the relationship.  They don’t share a partnership together.  Intimacy is lacking.  They are strangers in the same house.  They could no longer provide support for each other.

The only way that this couple can resolve the problem and to be more supportive of each other, is to create a new partnership that would be supportive to both of their needs.  This will require a lot of work, and working on new communication skills.  But they can’t do this unless they feel a commitment toward each other.  Fortunately in this case the couple decided to work on their problems and to learn to be more caring and supportive of each other.  There is hope for this relationship.

Supportive Communication is Healthy

Supportive communication is the path towards mutual bonding of a couple that is responsive to the needs of the other.  Both partners are attuned to the other’s needs.  There is a good feeling of love between each other.  Unsupportive communication engenders negative emotions in both spouses.  These negative emotions can affect the health of the individuals. The immune and endocrine systems of the body get out of control  and produce stress hormones, such as cortisone.  The body’s health is in jeopardy, with the potential of causing physical conditions, such as arthritis, cancer, and cardiovascular disease, among others.  The emotional health of the couple is also endangered with possibilities of depression or anxiety.  Therefore unsupportive communication not only wrecks the relationship, but is dangerous to one’s overall health.

In essence, improving or preventing problems in the marriage will help you to feel love again.  Your communication will be more supportive.  Love will be expressed. You will be healthier.  You will no longer just be ‘married’:  You will be partners!