Creating a Healthy Lifestyle

As a parent, you may be working away from home during the day.  When you arrive home at the end of the day there is still work to be done.  You may be thinking of what you have to do the next day. The time you have with a child may be minimal, compared with all of the other activities on any particular day.

It is vital, therefore, to focus on the moments that you can spend with your child.  Each moment of “quality” will enhance his or her well-being.  Lois, for instance, is a working mother, who spends a lot of time as a nurse in a community hospital.  But she feels guilty that she doesn’t spend enough time with her four-year-old daughter, Jennifer. Lois says, regretfully, “I wish I could spend more time with Jennifer, but there isn’t lots of time left after I’m done with my housework.”

If you are like Lois, there is a feeling of “guilt” and inadequacy because you want to spend more time with your child.  But it seems that it never happens. The feelings of guilt, and the desire to be with your child, make you feel you’re neglecting the child.  You don’t want to continue to feel this way.  It doesn’t help the child, and it is not even good for your own health and well-being.  Therefore, the first step is to set a goal of spending “quality” time with your child.  You can start today

Since you don’t have a lot of time, you want to do the best you can to make “quality” time: giving your child full attention in the moment, and letting the child express his or her own feelings and desires.  You can begin with reading stories to the child.  When you read a story, it is pivotal to get her input after you are finished.  When she is about three to six, you may even want her to read the story to you in her own words, even if she can’t read all the words.  Give her the chance to “read” the same story back to you.  Reinforce her creative expressions.

Reading stories can be at bedtime, but it can be any time of the day that you have available.  As you continue to read stories, the child will begin to love to read.  This is a pleasant effect of your quality time with the child.

There are, of course, other things you can do with the child.  You can play with her as time permits.  There are many ways to play:  make-up games, letting the child choose what she wants to play, and various games, such as Pictionary, playing with dolls, or cars.  It should be fun.  If the child can make choices and express herself, it can stimulate her imagination as she creates roles and characters in the play.  You can guide her.  But let your child “direct” the play activity.

In addition to play, you can color with your child, or use an “activity” book to do more interesting projects. There are a number of other activities that you may suggest to your child. The possibilities are endless.  The important thing is that it evokes pleasure for you and your child.  You will feel good about spending time with your child that has quality.

Lois discovered that she could spend more time with Jennifer—quality time.  Lois felt more relaxed: “I thought I couldn’t do anything with Jennifer, but then I decided to make the time to spend with her.  I started to read The Cat in the Hat and encouraged Jennifer to talk about the story.”

As a working parent, it is not easy to spend enough time with your child.  There are many things you’re doing to provide the necessary resources for your family.  But if you are attuned to the needs of the child and want to spend quality time with him, he will feel loved and secure.