Jesssica says, “I try to spend some time with Sara but it’s not easy, now that she is a teenager.\u00a0 We used to do a lot things together, but now she wants to be alone or be with her friends.\u00a0 I try to talk to her but she doesn’t want to confide in me anymore.\u00a0 I feel I’m not doing a good job as a mother.”<\/p>\n
Jessica is distraught and doesn’t feel competent as a parent.\u00a0 She wants to be with Sara, but Sara doesn’t show any interest in being with her.\u00a0 This is very disconcerting and\u00a0 Jessica feels she is losing her daughter.<\/p>\n
If you are in a similar situation, or would like to have a better relationship with your teen, you musn’t give up on her.\u00a0 Instead, you\u00a0should continue to show your child that you are as interested in her now,\u00a0as you were when she was a younger child.\u00a0 Even though\u00a0she is a teenager, she still needs your love and attention– though she may not seem to want your love.\u00a0 It is easy for a parent to give up and go on with his or her own interests, and gradually become more distant from the teen.\u00a0 But the teen actually wants your attention and love even if it’s unexpressed.\u00a0 At the same time, the teen is trying to find his or her identity.\u00a0 She just left the\u00a0oasis of childhood and is now face-to-face with a new ‘world.’\u00a0 So she needs to find herself during this critical time.\u00a0 She needs to know who she is and how she can relate to her peers–and society.<\/p>\n
In Sara’s case, she had\u00a0 good relationship with her mother during early and middle childhood.\u00a0 This is a foundation for a good parent\/teenager relationship.\u00a0 But the parent needs to know that the teen is at a very different level of development: She is trying to find herself in relation to peers and the family.\u00a0 There are different needs in adolescence compared to the early years. The parent needs to understand these different needs and relate to the child in a different way.\u00a0\u00a0Thus it’s vital to sit down with the teen and discern her wants and needs. Listening to the teen’s needs is crucial. Express love and\u00a0give reasonable\u00a0discipline when needed.\u00a0 Find things to do with the teen, while giving her autonomy.\u00a0 In contrast to the early years of childhood, there are new and different challenges during the course of adolescence.<\/p>\n
Essentially, it’s going to take time to forge a new relationship with your teen.\u00a0 It will not be the same as in childhood but it can be just as rewarding for the parent and teenager.\u00a0 A new, healthy connection will unfold.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jesssica says, “I try to spend some time with Sara but it’s not easy, now that she is a teenager.\u00a0 We used to do a lot things together, but now she wants to be alone or be with her friends.\u00a0 I try to talk to her but she doesn’t want to confide in me anymore.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,5,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-73","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healthy-lifestyle","category-parent-and-child","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions\/75"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=73"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=73"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}