Stacie says, “I would like to have a better relationship, but every time I’m serious with\u00a0a man it falls apart.\u00a0 How could I have a good relationship with someone?<\/p>\n
Stacie just turned twenty-two and she doesn’t feel good about herself.\u00a0 She says, “I never thought much about myself.\u00a0 I wanted to go to college but I never tried.\u00a0 I’m working as a waitress, but I don’t find it satisfying.\u00a0 I have to work or I wouldn’t have any money to live on.”\u00a0 Stacie’s early experiences were also disappointing: “I always felt excluded in my family.\u00a0 I felt my sister had anything she wanted.\u00a0 And recently my last three relationships didn’t work.\u00a0 I always blamed myself when things didn’t work out for me.”<\/p>\n
Stacie’s experience of failure occurred through her childhood and adolescence.\u00a0 She had more negative than positive experiences.\u00a0 These experiences affected her self-esteem and resilience.\u00a0 Each bad experience was devastating for her.\u00a0 And she blamed herself when things didn’t work out like she wanted.\u00a0 Each failure made it more likely that she would fail again.\u00a0 Each failure negatively reinforced her feelings that nothing would work.\u00a0 This caused her to be depressed, and she blamed herself for her failures.\u00a0 This set her up for further failures, and an increasing loss of resilience.<\/p>\n
If you have similar problems, like Stacie, you would need to work on these issues that stopped you from moving on, or coping with negative experiences in life.\u00a0 Each failure can reinforce your feelings of hopelessness, or blaming yourself for any failures you may encounter.\u00a0 Even small failures may be magnified and make you feel that you will ‘fail’ again.\u00a0 Resilience will continue to spiral downward.\u00a0 It will become a vicious cycle of ‘failure,’ self-blame, and more sadness.<\/p>\n
Stacy withdrew in a depressive state of hopelessness.\u00a0 This changed the chemistry of her brain–and stress hormones over-flowed in her body.\u00a0 She would get tired easily and couldn’t do any physical exercises.\u00a0 She couldn’t do anything at home, and was unable to concentrate when she tried to sit down and read.\u00a0 Her thoughts were replete with self-pity and helplessness.<\/p>\n
If\u00a0 you are in a similar situation, it is important to confront your negative thoughts and emotions.\u00a0 This may be difficult to do on your own.\u00a0 You may need to talk with a supportive counselor who can help you sort through the negative thoughts and feelings.<\/p>\n
Some of you may be able to tackle this problem on your own.\u00a0 You can read my book, “Create a Healthy Lifestyle” that helps you to be healthy and happy in a holistic way.\u00a0 Focus on how you feel about yourself, and the source of those inadequate feelings about self.\u00a0 Take care of your physical and spiritual health.\u00a0 And discover some of the positive and satifying things you can do today.\u00a0 Change will not come quickly.\u00a0 The negative thoughts and feelings will keep trying to intrude on your mind and perceptions.\u00a0 But continue to do the “baby steps” of working on each thought at a time.\u00a0 Gradually you will feel better about yourself and be motivated to do things you couldn’t do when you were depressed such as: getting into a new relationship, going to college, pursuing the things you always wanted to do, and enjoying the wonderful things in life.<\/p>\n
As you become less depressed, or sad, you will discover a new “you.” You will become more resilient and able to cope with the difficult challenges that life may give you.\u00a0 Your resilience will continue to grow.\u00a0 Life will be more rewarding.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Stacie says, “I would like to have a better relationship, but every time I’m serious with\u00a0a man it falls apart.\u00a0 How could I have a good relationship with someone? Stacie just turned twenty-two and she doesn’t feel good about herself.\u00a0 She says, “I never thought much about myself.\u00a0 I wanted to go to college but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-healthy-lifestyle","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=119"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":122,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119\/revisions\/122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=119"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=119"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.michaelpanar.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=119"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}